I'm not that young and I'm not that old.

I still can't believe I'm getting married. Sometimes I look down at my ring and I think, "I'm really engaged? I'm really getting married?"

Even though I've bought my dress, figured out centerpieces, picked the colors, picked out the bridesmaid dresses, and spent countless nights stressing over all the planning almost resulting in ripping my hair out, I still find it hard to believe.

At first, I thought it was because I never thought I was going to get married and now that I am it's hard to wrap my head around it. But I don't think that's it anymore. I'm starting to think it's because I'm still young. I'm twenty and sometimes I feel like I'm still sixteen. Then I'll try to imagine being married and living on a base and it's just, weird. It's weird to imagine me as someone's wife. Even if it is Russell's wife. I just, I don't know. It's hard to imagine for me.

That doesn't mean I'm not excited though. I honestly can't wait to get married and I'm looking forward to our life together. It's just weird for me to get my head around it.

It probably won't click until I'm about to walk down the isle.