Writing, English and other school like sounding things

Alright, think back to your school days. Including elementary school and middle school. Remember the kid that always had a book ready for book reports? The kid that had the required reading in high school done early making everybody else look bad? The kid that constantly had a book in their bag ready to read the moment class got boring?

I was that kid.

When I was fourteen, I started writing. I constantly had story ideas running through my head. During my second semester of college I took a writing class online. The professor had us write a story, we'd post it and each week we would critique three stories.

Ever since that class I've had writer's block. I had no problem writing the stories I would write for that class but some of the critiques I would get from my classmates were horrible. In one story I was told I had too much dialogue. Another kid broke it down and told me why x,y, and z weren't actually plausible. In my second story another person told me my character was stupid and that she's glad everything that happened to the character happened.

I haven't been able to write since. If I did write something, I would hate it. I haven't like anything I've written and I can't bring myself to read other stuff I've already written, to edit it, because I end up hating it and I would trash the whole story idea. Which I don't want to do because I had big plans for it when I started it.

I probably sound crazy.

But I really, really, really, wish I could start writing again. I want to come home when I get off work and just write to my heart's content. But I can't.

I can barely write in my journal these days. I used to be able to tell the stories of my life in a way that would fill up pages with every single detail I could think of so I could remember everything. I could barely write about my wedding.

What is wrong with me? Is it possible that I lost my ability to write?

Has anybody else had this problem? Were you able to fix it?

Kenzie;

Russell and I talked to our apartment complex about transferring to a one bedroom apartment since Kenzie leaves soon and I don't want to deal with the hassle of finding another roommate. I doubt people are going to be lining up to live with newlyweds. 

So we talked to our apartment complex. I expected to get a little check list of what we had to do in order to transfer, a date too far in the future for my comfort to move in, and possibly a wait list. Instead, I put down the money to hold the apartment. I got a check list of what they're going to be looking for when they do the walk through next week and we move on the first. 

It's a bittersweet feeling. I'm excited to move. I've always loved moving. It's a new adventure. A new place to decorate and make your own. Even though I'm only moving two buildings over, I'm looking forward to it. But moving means Kenzie is going to be at basic training and starting her army life. All communication is going to be through letters. Letters that are going to be six pages in length or more because I'm going to have to tell her every single nonsense detail all the way down to the shoes I was wearing the day I was writing. Not that I'm complaining. It's just going to be different. You see, I'm used to just yelling across the hallway to get her attention. I'm used to making her sleep in my room with me when my husband is gone. We have little sleepovers and stay up late and talk about silly things. I'm so unbelievably proud of her for joining the Army. It just makes me sad when I think about how much things are going to change.

Except things aren't really going to change. She's still going to be the sister I never got and the extra daughter my father never wanted. I'm still going to tell her everything and she's still going to be the person I run to when I need somebody.

Our junior year in high school she moved back to New York and it only made our friendship stronger. Basic training ain't got nothin' on us ;)

Married!

I'm done counting down the days. I'm done stressing about small details that never really mattered in the first place. I'm finally married! 

It's actually pretty exciting to say. I'm married. I'm married. I'm married. I'm married. Have you met my husband? Oh! We just got married! Yeah, we're on our Honeymoon, we just got married! Hey husband!

Okay, okay, I'll stop.

But seriously, my wedding was amazing. Beautiful, wonderful, everything I wanted and then some.

I seriously have no idea how I pulled it all together in three months but I'm pretty sure it wouldn't have gone so smoothly if I didn't have my mother-in-law.

About half the people we expected to come actually showed up. One of my "best" friends didn't even show up. While I shouldn't' be, I'm actually pretty pissed about his not showing up.

Everybody who did come really care about me and Russell and wanted to be there for us. They laughed, they cried, they hugged us, they were amazing.

We stayed in Vegas for our Honeymoon. I'm really thankful for this since my lovely husband got me sick and I've been getting progressively worse since the morning of my wedding. I've been coughing so hard and so often that I pulled something in my side. It hurts like hell. Thank God I don't go back to work until Saturday.

We pretended to be tourist though and hit the Strip. We stayed at a time share my aunt and uncle had for the entire week after the wedding but they flew back home on Monday. It was beautiful. I wish I could live there. I at least want that bed. I don't remember ever sleeping so good. Especially while I'm sick. 

We shopped, and walked around aimlessly. We hung out in the time share and just enjoyed those first days of being married. 

We're home now (horray! I was starting to feel home sick, which is weird since I never left Vegas). We're all unpacked and just relaxing. He's actually playing Skyrim. I'm next :)

Tomorrow we're going to go talk to our apartment complex about moving into a one bedroom apartment. Kenzie leaves in less than two weeks. :(

My, how time flys.

Catch up!

Oh my lord. Did I go missing? I feel like I did. I work, eat, sleep, work. At least that's how I feel like I've been going lately.

Except this past week. My schedule got all switched around again but I finally have two days off in a row! It's almost sad how happy I am about that. But I am! Plus on my first day off, I did absolutely nothing. No lie, I sat on my couch and played Fable all day. When I wanted food, Russell went out and bought me food. Which was nice, he usually has me go with him since he likes driving together.

So, on Friday, the night before Christmas Eve, I was over at Russell's parent's house because his dad's side of the family was coming over for dinner. I was a little nervous. I won't lie to you. I'm not really close with that side of the family like I am his mom's side. I was excited about one thing though, I was finally going to meet his uncle. Now, I've been dating Russell for over a year and a half and I'm about to marry him. I've been to every single family function they've had, whether big or small. The uncle? Avoided every single one. It amazes me. But I digress. I was going to meet him. Yay!

It was a good night. Everybody is excited about the wedding and looking forward to it as much as we are. It was nice to actually get to know them.

Saturday, when I got off work, Russell and I took Kenny out to help my dad so he could go Christmas shopping. We took him to see Santa. I promised to take him to see Santa when we went to Magical Forest but we were so busy riding the rides that it slipped my mind.

So we stand in line for a half hourish to an hour and the closer we get to the front the more excited Kenny gets. He's jumping up and down and saying "Santa!" like it's a mantra. It was cute.

Standing in line!

So we get in to see Santa. Kenny practically runs to the couch to sit next to Santa while I'm talking to the girl to figure out picture prices. She takes the picture and after I get up Santa grabs my hand. I looked over and he said "God bless you. It's not an easy job," he said nodding at Kenny. I said Thank you and walked back over to Russell to wait to look at our pictures.

I teared up. Santa almost made me cry.

I didn't blog about it or anything, but when Russell and I took Kenny to Magical Forest, (which is a fundraising thing Opportunity Village does in Vegas every year. If you don't know, Opportunity Village helps kids with disabilities like downsyndrome.) I took Kenny to the bathroom where a grown man tried to bully him because he had a whiny kid who needed to pee and Kenny was taking longer than he needed. 

After that, I gave up on any "normal" person in society to understand Kenny or to even give him a chance. Santa changed that. I feel like he started a chain reaction because after Santa we took Kenny to see the new Chipmunks movie, which he loved, and the guy who was ringing up my drink was talking to him and even gave him a high five. 

I know it sounds small. But Kenny knows when people are staring at him because he looks different or talks weird. He know when people are rude to him because they don't understand. So every time somebody is nice to Kenny I want to hug them. 

Christmas day was nice. I had to work then too so I missed out on everything with Russell's family but I got a couple hours before work with his brother, mom and dad. We exchanged gifts. Russell's dad loves the remote controlled helicopter I got him.

I got some pretty kick ass gifts too. I got a Kindle Fire from Russell, (which is the bomb.com) some scrapbook stuff from Russell's mom and a case from Russell's dad. (Who was my not so secret santa). 

This was definitely the best Christmas I've had in years. I can't wait for more like this one.

How was your Christmas?! Any super cool gifts?

Can I take a minute to breathe?

Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy! I feel like I've been neglecting this blog. Which, I have been. It's easier to post to my tumblr on my phone than it is to blogger. Lately, that's the only way I've been online, my handy dandy cell phone.

Why? Because I'm a workaholic. And seeing as I spent most of my time at work, that's usually when I would get all my blogging in. But they took the internet away so there went most of my blogging time. I can't even bring in my laptop to write! But I can use my phone and read Harry Potter on my Kobo so I guess I can't really complain. 

So here I am, on Sunday night, ready to catch up and rant about everything that's been going on. Are you ready?

I had a pretty successful weekend when it comes to my wedding stuff. On Friday we found two of my bridesmaids dresses and on Saturday we got another bridesmaid her dress. *happy dance* The only person left if my maid of honor so that'll probably, hopefully happen next Sunday, when we both have the day off. 

Today, I got my veil, the plates and silverware for my reception, and the bowls for the centerpieces. Plus Russell and I (mostly me) picked out our cake topper. And I got to see the finish product of the wands that my bridesmaids are going to carry instead of bouquets. Nothing like Harry Potter, they have hearts on the top and beads and ribbon and they're so cute! Since I just changed the colors (again) I get to keep the first one she did in the old colors. :D

I also got more Christmas decorations. Russell's mom and Grandma got out extras of stuff they already have or things that belonged to Great Grandparents. So I got to decorate a little when I got home tonight. We even have a mistletoe in our apartment. :) 

And we finally have a tree topper for our Christmas tree! 

I've also developed a weird scarf addiction. But I'm going to blame that on the cold weather that Vegas is having. It's really unusual. It's usually warmer around this time of the year. And by warmer I mean it's usually high fifties and low sixties instead of the low to high forties we've been in lately.

I'm not complaining though! I love it! 

My new decorations! Floating candle, o0o0o0o. And some cute snowman coasters! My have the best future family in law. They are always willing to help out. :)

Where'd ya go?!

I'm back! I know I haven't been around much lately. Have you noticed? Probably not, but I sure did.

Honestly, I haven't really been feeling like myself lately. I was in a funk. All I did was sleep, eat and work and for some reason, I was okay with that. Well, I really wasn't okay with it, but I was dealing with it. My room and the rest of my apartment is a complete disaster zone, something I would never usually allow. I'm OCD when it comes to my surroundings. My kitchen, my bedroom, my bathroom, my living room all have to be clean, like spotless. Sometimes, when we're all super busy working and whatnot, it gets a little out of control and I can deal with that. I just spend an hour cleaning the apartment is everything is okay again.

Well, with me being in this weird mood my apartment, as I said before, is a disaster zone. I didn't even really realize it until Thursday night. I was finally feeling like myself again. After I got off work, Russell picked me up and we picked up Kenzie from the apartment and got Subway and Taco Bell. The car ride was fun. It wasn't long considering how close I live to everything, but it was fun. After we got home though I got a good look at my apartment. It's disgusting. If you ask me at least, "normal" people would say that it's normal messiness.

Anywho, since I'm feeling better my apartment is getting a complete scrub down. I'm actually looking forward to this because my apartment being spotless makes me happier than it probably should.

But it's okay, because tomorrow we're decorating for Christmas! :D Russell and I picked out our tree last night. It's a real one and my apartment smells like pine and it's lovely. I haven't had a real Christmas tree since I was in middle school. And all I wanted when I finally had my own place was to have a real Christmas tree. And I got it!

For once, I'm actually feeling like it's Christmas. Vegas is feeling the Christmas like weather too. All November we were sitting in high fifties and low sixties. Once December 1st hit, the temperature dropped to the forties. I'm not completely ready for it. Along with cleaning my apartment today I'm also running over to Old Navy to see if they have mitten or gloves. My hands almost froze off on my way to work this morning! I should probably invest in one of those huge pea coats. I have a small one but it fits weird and it's uncomfortable to wear.

Bring on the hot chocolate! I hope you guys are having a good start to December.

Thanksgiving!

Oh boy! Happy late thanksgiving! I hope everybody had a good one and ate their body weight in food. At least, I think that's how much you're supposed to eat on Thanksgiving. I wouldn't know personally. I'm not a big eater. I ate McDonald's before I went into work.

But before I went to work I hung out with my future in-laws because they wanted to include me so they did everything earlier so I could be there. I had so much fun. We watched the Lions VS. Packers game. I was rooting for the packers, just to be a pain in the butt, everybody in Russell's family is a huge lions fan. I do think it would be in the Lions best interest to get rid of Suh though. Just saying.

Friday was one of my days off so what did I do? Absolutely nothing. I hung out on my couch and finished watching the first season of Big Bang Theory. I stayed in my PJs all day too. It was fantastic.

And that's all I can really think about writing right now. It's almost 7AM. I'm at work and I've been up since 9PM last night.

I really just want to be in bed sleeping.

How was your Thanksgiving?!